My blood pressure is too high and I'm feeling pretty sad about it
I used to keep a diary as a teenager. It took time to get into the habit of writing, and I didn't always want to do it, but it was a great experience. Not only did I write some pretty awful and overwrought poetry, but the writing habit also permitted me time to clarify thoughts and reflect. It's like a time capsule of who I used to be. But when I now look in the mirror, that slender teenager seems a stranger to me. I know it used to be me, but the memories seem hollowed out.
I remember one particular diary entry where I must have been especially passionate. I wrote that I'd fend off death and become some kind of spectral being composed of energy. How? I don't know. It's the sort of thing a young person thinks when they feel all the energy and passion of youth - nothing seems insurmountable in those moments - and even the inevitable end may be avoided.
All of this occurs to me because my blood pressure is too high. Its been high for months and I'm even on medication. Now there's a blood pressure machine to keep track and provide the doctor some data. That diary writing person I used to be - that young and healthy soul - he seems more distant than ever.
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